BIRCH WATER – MIRACLE ELIXIR OR THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES?

BIRCH WATER?

THE NEXT ‘BIG THING’ TO KEEP US YOUNG AND HEALTHY ?

OR

JUST ANOTHER CASE OF THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES?

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Amazing how a few bottles of birch water can improve your appearance? Dream on….

TheEye never ceases to be amazed by the increasing number of things she should or more importantly, SHOULDN’T be putting into her mouth. Listening to conversations of some very earnest, very thin women in her gym changing room makes her wonder if all they consume is hot air. That’s certainly what it sounds like.

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Forget it….too much sugar

An encyclopaedic list of do’s and don’ts – from gluten free to sugar-free to alcohol-free.

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Delicious and healthy? Think again….even more sugar

It goes without saying ‘dairy’ is out. Tut tut. And don’t mention milk unless it’s soy, almond, rice, oat, coconut (loaded with sugar) or oat – and as for CHEESE  ..?  Yes, you heard TheEye correctly.

Just pity those poor unemployed cows who have lost their jobs as milk providers.

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Wheatgrass

Just when you thought wheat grass (the yukkiest taste of them all) was the high priest of  veggydom and the panacea of everything ‘good for you’, and when you had been successfully brainwashed into glugging down quantities of coconut water, almond water, artichoke water and ‘blk’ water infused with naturally black fulvic trace minerals (no, TheEye isn’t making this up), along comes birch water  –  the latest ‘must have cure’ for everything from migraine to dandruff and eczema. Birch water is also credited with treating liver disease, diarrhoea, constipation (how can it cure both TheEye questions?), arthritis and bronchitis. Will we need doctors when a few bottles of the noxious liquid is so effective and you no need to sit in a germ filled waiting room?

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Birch trees

In the pursuit of clean living and for those who want to prolong their life expectancy, it’s apparently a must.

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Sap trickling out of the branch of a birch tree

If you are asking how the sap from a tree can possess such magical powers then you are asking the wrong person –  TheEye has no idea.     But, since as we all know, the press is ALWAYS right, she believes what she reads and what she reads is that birch water is the detoxing super liquid that will flush out those nasty toxins and even (hold your breath and count to three) eliminates cellulite.

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Birch sap can be harvested for just three weeks of the year.

According to Akcelina Cvijetic (‘wellbeing’ specialist to the stars – ho hum)  ‘The birch tree as been called ‘the tree of life‘, used as a medicinal plant for centuries throughout Eastern Europe and Russia as well as northern China and birch water was even favoured by the Vikings. Now that’s a recommendation and a half.

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No wonder they look happy – is it the birch water or their marketing skills?

Clara Vaisse and Mehdi Meghzifene, the enterprising pair behind Sibberi , the company successfully marketing birch water, are bringing out a maple water next year. According to Clara Vaisse ‘You can also tap all kinds of other trees – pine, bamboo, coconut – not all healthy and not all taste good.’

So, the jury (well TheEye anyway) is out on the subject of birch water – healthy cure or marketing con?

They were selling it hard in my local Farmer’s Market and it wasn’t cheap. I was told ‘if you drink it every day you will feel a new spring in your step’  to which I replied ‘try a brisk walk, you’ll get the same spring and it’s a lot cheaper’.

NO, it didn’t go down well.

7 Comments

  1. Obviously all total bollocks! The thing that makes the most sense and makes the Japanese live to a 110 is purple sweet potato. all things purple come a close second so stuff yourselves with Aubergine, blueberries, blackberries best of all, beetroot, Red Cabbage, purple sprouting broccoli etc. Not trendy enough obviously for the birch sap brigade! Some people just love being suckered!

  2. Obviously all total b……cks! The thing that makes the most sense and makes the Japanese live to a 110 is purple sweet potato. all things purple come a close second so stuff yourselves with Aubergine, blueberries, blackberries best of all, beetroot, Red Cabbage, purple sprouting broccoli etc. Not trendy enough obviously for the birch sap brigade! Some people just love being suckered!

  3. Fascinating, The Eye! Well aspirin was created from the bark of the willow tree, so I am in-tree-gued ? but if they are packaging this stuff in plastic bottles-so…help…me!!!

  4. I’m staying with good old sunny Sussex water!

  5. lucia van der Post May 6, 2016 at 11:26 am

    I’m with you Janice

  6. Catherine Pawson May 6, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    hilarious Janice

  7. Birch water looks absolutely disgusting – think I’ll sit this one out until the next great marketing idea comes along.

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